Foof. Noon. Noonie. Vag. Lady parts. Special place… As a society, we have come up with a whole host of imaginative and descriptive euphamisms for the vagina.
In fact, there’s fear more names for vaginas than there have ever been for the penis. ‘Dick’ and ‘willy’ pretty much seem to suffice, so why is the female equivalent so hard to pin down? And why, oh why, are we so reluctant to use the word vagina?
To demonstrate just how eclectic our terminology is, we’ve rounded up all the names that are used in the GLAMOUR office alone, from the cute, to the amusing, to the downright bizarre.
First up were the more ubiquitous options including foof, noonie, fanny and muff.
Then came the more niche; woo woo, juju, lily and mini.
There were also a fair few comedic nicknames. Vajayjay, special place, pum pum and Mrs Jones were a few of the favourites.
And of course, there were all the names used mainly by lad culture that don’t even warrant mentioning.
It’s not just us, though. Even the health and wellness industry struggles to use the term ‘vagina’.
Intimate care brand, The Perfect V, is one fine example, not only reducing our vaginas to one single letter in the brand’s name, but also failing to use its full name at any point both on their website or on the packaging, instead opting for “V”, “the triangle area”, and “the V area”. For a brand that has no reservations in creating a range entirely focusing on the upkeep and beautification of the vagina (N.B. your vagina doesn’t need beautifying), the relentless reliance on euphemisms is ironic at best and deplorable at worst.
Can we please just call a vagina, a vagina?